Interruption, incoherence, surprise are the ordinary conditions of our
life. They have even become real needs for many people, whose minds
are no longer fed by anything but sudden changes and constantly
renewed stimuli. We can no longer bear anything that lasts. We no
longer know how to make boredom bear fruit.
So the whole question comes down to this: can the human mind master what the human mind has made?
Beauty can be found in even the most dark of places. And when this is discovered, one will truly realize that beauty is ever so abundant.
The joy of living, its beauty is all bound up in the fact that life can surprise you.
The Earth should be regarded as the womb of life- but one cannot remain in the womb forever.
Posts from the Diary of a Wonderful Life, Lived by a Horrible Person.
Began a new blog as to “weed out” all irrelevant posts (primarily pertaining to mental illness or things otherwise baring no relevance to the purpose of this blog), and place them there rather than here. Will be using said blog to reblog the irrelevant posts from here to there.
This is the written record of [NAME]. I am fifteen years of age and I write this for the sanctity of my sanity- so that I may keep what little is left of it. I dread each day-throughout the day- and will likely be unable to sleep tonight. And what bothers me most is that I know not why. I suppose “Why not?” would suffice, for I am a terrible person and likely deserve this. But, again, I know not why I think this of myself, as I’ve a great life, family, and many seem to believe I am a good person. Though, I suppose this might be why I feel as such- I’ve no reason whatsoever for which to be depressed, yet I do. What kind of awful person feels this way when everything’s so great?
As of recent, I’d an idea for a short story of which I am to write. Thus far, I’ve merely written a portion of the beginning, however I decided
to share it and see how it is perceived, if at all. Here:
Alas, it finally was to occur. He had experienced this moment an
exceeding number of times prior. Each occurrence thereof slightly
varied. At times, it occurred far differently with varying details as to
how it would occur and the events surrounding. However, the outcome
always remained a constant; his own death. One at point of realization
of his own mortality is a rather intriguing thing when it does occur.
One seeing the frailty of their own lives and how quickly that of which
gave them life can ever so quickly take it back.
Thus is all I’ve written. Much editing shall come to pass,
however thoughts as to how I can improve-or blatant insults- would be appreciated, even
if dully noted.
I can’t profess to explain the things that happened in my mind. No doubt they could all be traced directly or indirectly to the curious physical conditions under which I was living. I set them down here just for what they are worth, and without any comment. The most prominent quality of it was a pervading doubt of my own identity. I became, if I may so express it, dissociate from Bedford; I looked down on Bedford as a trivial, incidental thing with which I chanced to be connected. I saw Bedford in many relations—as an ass or as a poor beast, where I had hitherto been inclined to regard him with a quiet pride as a very spirited or rather forcible person. I saw him not only as an ass, but as the son of many generations of asses. I reviewed his school-days and his early manhood, and his first encounter with love, very much as one might review the proceedings of an ant in the sand. Something of that period of lucidity I regret still hangs about me, and I doubt if I shall ever recover the full-bodied self satisfaction of my early days. But at the time the thing was not in the least painful, because I had that extraordinary persuasion that, as a matter of fact, I was no more Bedford than I was any one else, but only a mind floating in the still serenity of space. Why should I be disturbed about this Bedford’s shortcomings? I was not responsible for him or them.
For a time I struggled against this really very grotesque delusion. I tried to summon the memory of vivid moments, of tender or intense emotions to my assistance; I felt that if I could recall one genuine twinge of feeling the growing severance would be stopped. But I could not do it. I saw Bedford rushing down Chancery Lane, hat on the back of his head, coat tails flying out, en route for his public examination. I saw him dodging and bumping against, and even saluting, other similar little creatures in that swarming gutter of people. Me? I saw Bedford that same evening in the sitting-room of a certain lady, and his hat was on the table beside him, and it wanted brushing badly, and he was in tears. Me? I saw him with that lady in various attitudes and emotions—I never felt so detached before…. I saw him hurrying off to Lympne to write a play, and accosting Cavor, and in his shirt sleeves working at the sphere, and walking out to Canterbury because he was afraid to come! Me? I did not believe it.
One of the prime problems of humanity is that all think “Were all else to improve themselves, the world would be a better place”- they realize not that they’re part of the problem itself, most believe it’s always “everyone else”.
There will come a time when it isn’t ‘They’re spying on me through my phone’, anymore. Eventually, it will be, ‘My phone is spying on me.’
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
The most easily explainable definition of the Butterfly Effect is that the most minute, seemingly insignificant, of actions or occurrences can, over time, cause exceedingly massive, infinitely larger effects. However, I shall describe the Butterfly in more detailed form and, specifically, how it pertains to the concept of time travel.
Another, more name-relevant, example of the Butterfly Effect is the idea that the vibrations that are produced from the movement of a butterfly’s wings can eventually cause a violent wind-storm elsewhere within a duration of time later. In more minor forms, the Butterfly Effect is known to be true. If small developmental hindrances occur early in one’s life, the effects in a later time will be far more significant than if the event were to occur later in life/development.
In regards to time travel, and time itself-keeping the Many Worlds Interpretation in mind- were one to travel to a fixed point, of which all world lines eventually converged at, and changed one seemingly insignificant detail, it could eventually cause the birth of a new world line of which is far different in outcome than the others. Also is it theorized that in time travel-as enabled with the Many Worlds Theory- that you travel back in time not within your own world line, but one insignificantly different (thus as to prevent the occurrence of the Grandfather Paradox) than your own. Were you to continue time-leaping into the past, with each leap you’d enter an insignificantly different world-line than the one you just left- the one you first departed to from your initial world-line. The world-line of which you now partake- being the second time you’ve traveled time, this is two world lines away from your initial one- is farther from your initial world-line than is the one of which you just departed from. The differences should still be practically insignificant, however with each occurrence of time travel, you bring yourself farther from your initial world-line. As the leaps commence, you’d soon notice subtle differences in the new world-line from that of the world-line of which you initially inhabited. Eventually the differences will be obvious and lose much of their subtlety. Finally, the world-line would be unrecognizable from your own, and you’d see that merely using very numerous instances of time travel-even if to travel a short amount of time, though still making multiple trips- would eventually greatly effect your surroundings. Thus can the mere act of traveling a year in the future-through means of multiple trips- eventually leave you stranded exceedingly far on a foreign world-line of which is not your own.
Next shall I elaborate on the story of John Titor.
We know not if it’s nurture or nature that dictates who you become. Though, no matter what is proven, we can ascertain that nature and the events it subjects you to definitely have a potent influence over who you become. Though, the question lies in; Would you be the same person you are, were you to have lead a different life or experienced different events as did you in the one herein? Were you to have been raised through a different environment, under different circumstances, and/or surrounded by a different set of people- would you still be the same exact person, or would you have changed? This is the question I’ll discuss, a question that’s been pondered upon for a while.
It is known that the idea that who we are is based on nature to be pure theory with not much basis in reality while it is definitely known that nurture, or the way by which we were raised and what we’ve experienced, definitely plays some role as to how we develop and who we become. Often it is pondered why Hitler did not employ the use of biological weapons during World War II, seeing all immoralities he committed in order to win. It is thought that why he didn’t was due to an unfortunate event that occurred whilst being a soldier and experiencing the ill-effects of a biological weapon and left him scarred and with antipathy towards biological warfare. So, here is it observed why Hitler did not engage in a form of warfare that could have led him to victory- something he was so desperate to achieve, and tried to obtain through even more unorthodox and morbid means. Another thing is that most people can account for the source of many of their fears- a fear of spiders, heights, and the dark can all be attributed to fear of death. However, in this generation, most of the things I stated prior are not lethal as were they prior to mankind’s domination of Earth, yet this ancient fer remains as a memory of a time in which we needed to survive and the dark, venomous creatures, and heights could cause us our ill end.
However, neuroscience believes that the sense of “self” is very deeply rooted within our minds insomuch that amnesia and brain trauma very rarely causes a loss of this sense of “self” we have. Is this statement proof that it’s due to our innate, human nature that we act as we do? Or is it purely due to nurture by which we are who we are? This alone cannot answer the question, though it does help to know that we could forget all our memories of events that supposedly shaped us and still retain a sense of self, even though, to us, the events did not ever occur. And I believe everyone does have facets of themselves that seemingly bare little relevance to what they’ve experienced and how they were raised, there’s always just that one aspect of which we cannot account for.
There are those few of which cannot attribute their behavior to nurture. Those of which behave in ways that are unwarranted for their living situation and their experiences. For example, I’ve severe depression despite leading a life I can describe as perfect under my perception thereof. Both sides of my family have no relevant history of mental illness, and no events within my life warrant such behavior and feelings towards life, yet these things are still felt. Problem is, I cannot attribute mine afflictions and behaviors purely to nature, as I know many things of which I partook caused the way I behave towards specific things. Therefore, I assert that thus is what I believe is true in regards to whether be it nurture or nature that governs us:
Taking the Many-Worlds Theory as true, I theorize that throughout all world lines either you’d remain practically the same (of course there’d likely be minuted details in which you differ) regardless the situations that played out through your reality, or that the events that shaped you are fixed points across all world lines-though, of course the events would differ, though they’d effect you much in the same manner, thus producing the same outcome. This isn’t nurture or nature, however, it’s actually nurture AND nature. Were this true, it’d be completely natural for fate to force upon you the events that shape you, however this also means that nature relies on nurture somewhat to produce that of which is natural, thus are both present.
This year was rather eventful… A sudden descent into insanity, a week’s vacation at a mental treatment center, and the potential discovery of love. Hopefully 2015 will not fall short of my expectations. Here’s to another year of growth and misery.
Through our bleeding, we are one.
